I honestly feel like I'm falling apart. I've been trying so hard to stay on top of it this time but I'm still failing. I've been reaching for help, got my meds increased, have had increased contact from the mental health team. But I am still just a mess. A mess that is definitely not coping.

At the same time I have a close friend who is also struggling. I've been trying to support her and it is draining me. Everything I say to her to keep her safe I don't even believe myself. I am such a ****ing hypocrite.

I don't feel like I can move on from this. I feel like I will be stuck this way forever. And if that is the case I really would rather die. I'm finding it so hard to make an attempt right now. I don't know how to get through this. I just feel done.