Hi Everyone,
I read all the posts in this forum and truly, I feel your pain. I actually get a visceral response to the helplessness and hopelessness and sadness that you feel.

I also suffered from depression all of my life. Always pushed myself and just assumed that I was born to suffer and it was my lot in life.

Finally, after my mom, grandma and aunt died within one year I suffered a major depressive episode. I never got out of bed. I didn't shower, didn't talk, didn't eat and finally didn't drink either. After a month of this, I was obviously pretty sick, psychotic and finally hospitalized. I had given up. I was afraid to live and afraid to die.

I'm sorry this post is so long, but I wanted to tell you all that with the right meds, therapy and medical care, I got well. If it is difficult to push yourself out the door to get that help, call 911 and go by ambulance. That's how I went. I certainly understand that when you're in the depths of hell, can't think, can't make decisions, can't concentrate, that it feels impossible to make that move. But I'm here to tell you that just by dialing 911 and going to the ER you can get on the road to healing. I did and you can too.

My life is not perfect, but I take the antidepressant every day so I don't get sick again. It made the depression go away! I am so grateful to be alive today. I'm generally happy, productive and most importantly, am here for my children and my family.

Please, please don't give up. Get the help you so richly deserve. I have the utmost respect and love for all of you who suffer from this or any other mental illness.

Again, I'm sorry this is so long and I sure hope it didn't sound speechy. I really do wish all of you love and healing.



Okie