Thank you all so much. I do need a hug, so desperately want to feel loved, but for some reason even when I do hug my kids I'm ashamed to say I don't feel anything. I want to, but there's nothing there. Its like that part of me is dead. I know I love them & would lay down my life for them but I seem to have lost the ability to actually feel it. My other half doesn't do hugs I have to ask & it all just feels really awkward & pointless so I just don't ask. I'm typing this wondering if it even makes sense and quite possibly it's a topic for another forum.

I make life harder for myself I think because I find it impossible to tell my family I'm having a rough day & I just carry on & on until a day they all go out & only then do I let it out, tho' I have got better at putting my earphones in and listening to some music I find that helps.

But thank you, just being able to admit how I feel and to receive messages that let me know I'm not alone helps. Helps a lot.