I was begging my brothers on face book, at home far away, to let me know the news about how my dad's terminal cancer is progressing. I phone often but my mom doesn't come to speak to me on the phone, I do have wonderful talks with my dad. He doesn't really like reality so he is not the best person for facts, he likes to believe the best of life. Maybe I should take a lesson from him, enjoy his company when I can, and let my fears and worries not have a big place in our time of slowly saying goodbye. It is hard to just cry.