Skye, you are a survivor! Look at what you have come through already! Sometimes it takes a while to find the sweet spot. And remember, everyone has ups and downs in life. When you find the right treatment for you you will stabilize. If a med does not seem to be working (after giving a month or so) tell your doc. Self help can be important too. Maybe search online ways you can help yourself with meditation, art, poetry, daily mental exercises, etc.

And don't worry about the future! Focus on getting better now, and what you think will happen may never happen.