I can relate to you. I've been unemployed for several months and bombed an interview so badly today. Probably the worst interview I've ever given. Once you're out of the workforce, it can be very hard to get back in. Deep down I really didn't want the job anyway, but I need to make money sometime.

You do seem very hard on yourself, though, and you seem to hate yourself. Please don't call yourself a failure, or that you deserve to starve. That doesn't do you, or anyone, any good. Guilt is a useless emotion, without action. You'll only be able make truly positive changes in your life once you start to change your own view of yourself. You CAN do things. You ARE good enough. Love yourself, and you'll gain the strength to change old habits and turn your situation around. Check out the video in my signature- it's really helped me out, when I've listened to it as often as possible. Just keep swimming.