I have a much easier time feeling angry than depressed. Sometimes my depression makes me feel dead and I can't stand that. I am more comfortable in emotional extremes so it is easier for me to be angry. Anger activates me whereas depression deadens me. In session I often transfer my anger towards T. In general, I can turn angry very quickly, in a matter of seconds, when something happens that I don't like. I also act out my anger. In session I have worked on expressing my anger at my T, i.e. "I want to throw something at you, I hate you right now, etc, etc." but I still have trouble with "I want to throw something at you because..., I hate you because...., I'm mad at you because...." I used to be scared of anger in session because I thought it would destroy the relationship. I am the same way when it comes to my father. We have a very close relationship, but there are times of course, in which I get angry at him. I have a lot of trouble admitting it to myself, let alone to him. I look at my T and my father in a very similar light-- I tend to idealize and fear expressing anger-- for fear of "ruining" the relationship. I think in very black and white terms as you can see.