Hi Pink,
First let me say how cool I think you are!!

I could write a book about benzos, which I may do someday when I have more time.

Benzos are very addictive and the wd from them is awful! It's good to hear you can NOT take them for a while inbetween the times that you do. That's a good sign.

Some people develop a tolerance and an addiction right away, and others can take their small dose tid for years without developing either. Unfortunately, I carry a heavy genetic load for addiction. Do you?

If I could recommend a drug for anxiety to you, it would be Neurontin. No side effects, no risk of tolerance or addiction. It's an off-label use, but I don't think it will be for long. The psychiatric community is using it all the time to treat anxiety and mood.

I'd be interested to hear what you decide. I wish you all the best!
Okie