I had an aneurysm in 2011. Initially I was fine for the first few months after surgical clipping. I have been struggling cognitive, mentally and physically. I have simple partial seizure/complex, I have a thoracic aneurysm and aortic valve regurgitation and other heart issues. I have been diagnosed as bipolar/schizoeffective. I am at the end of my hope and have considered hanging myself. I'm tired and can't get help. I work part-time and yes earn above $1090. I want to reduce hour and feel that it would help tremendously but can't afford to walk away from financial obligations. I am/have run out of what to do. I attempted to file for SSD under the advise of my Cardiologist and therapist. I tried filing but was denied before I could even submit an application. I'm tired, my production/performance at work is declining daily. I can't do this anymore. I have told my employer that I need help getting work load done. I can't focus and when I try I still make major mistakes. I'm tired and I need help. My husband help make up the difference for my bills since working part-time. I'm killing him, he works overtime just to make ends meet. What else am I suppose to do. I don't want to die trying. I want to rest. I want to get better, but I can't. Suicide seems to be my only means of getting rest... I have no choices. I've worked so very hard all my life. They've taken my money faithfully. The reassurance of getting help sustained my future, they have burried me allive. I'm tired, and I need rest.

This and other issues, like health, is seriously affecting my ability to function. My personality and behavior is affecting every relationship I have, work, home and social. I am being compliant as best as I can. It's not taking its toll, it has taken its toll. I don't know where I stand and have nothing to stand on any more.

I didn't know where to post this.