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Old Jan 26, 2016, 03:14 PM
yagr yagr is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Nov 2015
Location: spokane
Posts: 1,459
I'm sorry for your suffering. I just wanted to offer you a different perspective below.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brittss View Post
He wound up leaving me around 3 weeks ago, claiming it was because of "my attitude" and not wanting to do anything with his family (he never approached me about this beforehand or tried to talk to me).
I have been guilty of this type of behavior before myself - the never approaching you about this or trying to talk to you about it. During this period in my life, I pretty much just assumed that the correct way to go about relationships was to accept the person the way they were - or not. No sense trying to change them, accept what you can or leave if you can't. So I would rarely, if ever, discuss something about my partner's behavior that I didn't like - it was part of who they were and I felt I had no right to try and coerce them into changing. I'm not saying that this was the correct or healthiest way to have a relationship - but it was a great improvement over the models of relationships I had learned from.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brittss View Post
Later on, I learned that he was concerned about my mood swings and never had the gall to tell me himself. Everyone that saw waited until the damage was already done.
Again, for me, I just didn't figure I had the right. It had nothing to do with gall or courage. My thinking was that you've managed to live this long without my input about your behavior or mood swings - if you wanted to change or do something about them you would have. Accept them or move on.

My relationship skills have improved since that period of my life - but I'm old now, and have had plenty of time to develop them. Anyway, just offering a different way to look at his behavior and choices in the event that it will help.
Thanks for this!
Bill3, JustJenny, unaluna