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Originally Posted by seoultous
I have a difficult time accepting compliments. My T compliments me and I have told her that she had to compliment me because I pay her. That was really unfair and I could tell I hurt her feelings. Then again, I think therapists are pretty smart. I believe they sense that someone sees the worst in themselves and it is their job to dismantle that negative cognition. Some intervention might be to erode the fear that one is unlovable or damaged. How better than to give a compliment. Maybe you'll start to examine your beliefs about yourself and you can come to realize that your therapist had the best of intentions to help you with your recovery.
My best to you as you journey through this difficult process.
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This is pretty much what I believe. I TRULY believe this and yet, at the same time I feel like I'm being manipulated. Manipulated into trying to feel better about myself - what an AWFUL person he is! I would never say to my friends the things that I say to myself. If I was my own best friend, I would try to counterbalance all the negative self talk with exactly the types of things he has said. I just have a difficulty hearing it.
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Originally Posted by Inner_Firefly
Hi YMIhere, I don't think you're overanalyzing. Maybe there is a good reason you feel uneasy when he compliments you. you say you believe his goal is to help you, but is it really helpful to tell you you're beautiful or intelligent and funny? I don't know the answer to that, what do you think? I know that my T's goal is to help me and she hardly ever compliments me like that because she believes it's not helpful. So that's why I wonder if your T's method is working for you. As for crying, maybe something inside you is sensitive/ hurting and you don't yet know the reason. Your feelings are valid and possbily trying to tell you something. I wish you luck in your journey! Sorry if none of this is helpful, I support you!
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As I said above I think he thinks he is helping me. As far as what is hurting me I WISH I could figure that out. I'm trying to remember if he had any input on that in a previous session. I know he said we would work on controlling (?) my emotions. I can't remember the exact word he used but basically that we need to work on my getting a grip in my words. I think one of my biggest causes of pain is this feeling of not living up to my potential. I KNOW I am capable of so much more if only I could find my way. What I am sure of is that at my job I get no emotional satisfaction and I can't even get recognition for what I do. Or I get it as lip service but nothing ever becomes of anything. The job is killing my soul and I feel trapped. I'm too tired and overwhelmed to even figure my way out of the trap. I'm h a hamster in a wheel because this situation will come up - this feeling that I NEED to do something, then I brainstorm trying to find a way that will let me leave and work on something else and then I come face to face with the realities that keep me right where I am.
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Originally Posted by growlycat
I don't know if this is a similar thing, but early on in therapy, years ago, if I had a touching or emotionally close session (where I discussed difficult material/cried and was given comfort etc) I would have a really bad rebound the following week. It was if that whatever nice connection happened would never ever happen again and it made me sad and panicky. hope this makes some sense. I'm sorry you are hurting so much.
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Every little bit helps. When you say a bad rebound week the next week, how exactly do you mean?
This is week 2 that he's away.
I'll see him again next Thursday. Just so many thoughts at once.
Another reason I stay - how will I afford therapy if I leave my job?
I'm trying so hard to look on the bright side at work, but it's getting more difficult every day.
Anyway, sorry for the rant everyone. Thank you for your responses.