I see him on Feb 2. I'm going to bring this up to him, though I mentioned memory issues in the past. He laughed and said I was too young to have memory issues. After getting a psychological and neural evaluation, I learned I'm mildly cognitively impaired, and I wasn't that way before going on all these meds. It would be nice to go back to grad school, but how am I supposed to do it with a memory and impairments like I have? At one time I was very ambitious, now I just live to get to see tomorrow, and there's no real image of a future in mind. If I'm not going to excel in grad school, I'm not going to waste time and money on it. Its sad because I use to have career dreams.

Its embarrassing at work. When something so simple a first grader could figure it out and I'm there, struggling, not comprehending. And I get laughed at. Called a goofball. And I feel like saying, "Hey guys. I'm mildly impaired. It's not my fault." My coworker last night actually laughed and said, "You're making it so much harder then it is. You should really try THINKING."

They have no idea what I've lost. And the awareness of what I've lost just crushes me inside. I know this is a little off topic, but the impairments include my memory. I doubt there is really anything my psychiatrist can do about it. Because I have to be on medication. There are no meds without side effects. But maybe...maybe he'll have some useful opinions and theories.