More often than I care to think about.

Are you currently under the care of a Pdoc or a T? You may want to consider that. Perhaps a support group? There's no reason to try to go through this all on your own - there is help out there.

At the very least, please know that I heard you and I'm sorry things are so hard for you right now. Please continue posting - this is a safe place to vent and exchange ideas with people.

Welcome to Pysch Central!