About the valium I mean that I'm having a hard time believing it's ok to take it, that if I feel better the next day too that I'm enjoying it too much or something. I have become suspicious of benzos yet have never had problems with them and have been on them for many years. I've come off klonopin cold turkey without issue, cut my klonopin daily total in half without issues, etc. and I only use valium a few nights per week and will stop when this ends. I just am being weird about it. I think I feel like this feeling horrible is the way it is supposed to be and if I feel better the next day from it lasting a long time in my system that getting that little break is wrong. It doesn't make sense.

I just meant I should go clean something, like wash dishes or put away stuff in my living room. I'm trying to have things in good order since I'm going IP but I can only do so much before I get overwhelmed. Figuring out where to put things is a big problem with that and that's what I'm down to: clearing the coffee table and table. I need to have my mom come over and help me sort those things out.

I think I'm about ready to take the valium so hopefully I'll talk to you tomorrow. I hope you get some sleep soon too (and that this works for me. Hard to know but I should get away from the screen).

Thanks for keeping me company. You helped a lot.