Feels good to be part of community again. I used to be active on reddit but then gave up due to depression. Anyways, I have one small question, which has been bothering me for months now. Let me quickly explain this situation :

Suppose that I am unemployed. Which means, I have to apply online for jobs. Now I'm sorta a perfectionist. This means that I tailor my resume for every job application (I am beginning to start my career in a field where there are few opening but are considered as skillful and indispensable professionals, so every application counts).

It's a huge task to customize or tailor every resume. Now when I think about applying for a job, I think of or rather I realistically picturize myself customizing resumes sitting in library and this very though depresses me and so I procrastinate.

I didn't tell you the complete story. The reason this resume customization is such a huge task is because I tend to be perfectionist - every word and every statement has to make sense. Sometimes I would spend as long as an hour (worse, I have even spent hours) to tailor one resume. And when I procrastinate on resume customization - I can procrastinate for days, weeks or even months.

The big question : It's not procrastination that worries me, it's what triggers it worries me the most in life. What is that "I realistically picturize myself customizing resumes sitting in library" called ? I mean, it's no daydream or maladaptive dreaming ! I have been told to have active imagination. But I tend to realistically visualize a lot of things quite well : one small example, if I someone says ,"Hey, lets go out for movie", I realistically visualize myself in line , waiting to buy tickets, or buy pop-corn at that very instant !

How to stop thinking or visualizing about future events ? Is it dopamine or serotonin ?

Thank you so much for listening. Awaiting for you replies.