I always feared my T might terminate me..like many of you on here..and it will hurt...hurt badly...and i prayed it never happens...

well guess what?

I terminated HIM !!!

yes, yes, yes !!!!

Me....i am choosing to walk away from him. why? because he has been a total jerk to me. he has disrespected me couple of times and i have let it go...he has played mind games(power/control) in various ways..i let him have it...because i needed him. i had no one to talk to. i kept on going back to him.
when little things showed he didnt care much. it didnt matter. i needed him. he listened to me. rest i ignored.

well, last session...was just wow. i decided to walk out in mid session. i threw money on his table(totally stopdog stlye) and left. he was left standing there puzzled. no apology. he was caught off guard. i proudly walked out with my head held high.

i feel so great...to have this ability to stand up for myself..even though it took so so soooo long! i put up with so much crap from him....and most of it was all sugar coated.

even though i dont need his stupid apology !!!! his words and actions clearly showed he didnt care about me at all...if only as a client. if only as a person who pays him. forget about everything personal i shared with him. this was common decency. this was something that was proffessionaly required from him. but he failed to do so.

how do i end this?????

He has sent me an email...and i have NOT read it. I dont want to read it. I dont want to hear his excuses or his apology. i dont care what is in the email, it will not change what he has done. he knows i have not read his email, as it is sent from a private website where i have to log in to read.

i can cancel all appts. and move on.

or

i can read his email and tell him off in my reply then move on.

what is the common courtesy? i want to take the high road...what is the proper way to end it.

should i communicate or its not even worth it if he will get defensive.
i have been seeing him for about a year.

i have not opened the email, as i dont want to even hear his side .
i dont know why. i am just not interested right now.
it could be an apology.
it could be returning the session fee i paid.
it could be putting the blame on me.
i have no idea.

i am looking for a new T.