I feel like I am completely useless and not cared about. I told my dad I feel like no one cares he said if they didn't care about me they wouldn't do all they do for me. That offended me to me that is the worst thing to say to someone with bipolar.

I feel like if I died no one would care. People might care for a few days then they would forget about me. Like I was never here. Everything I do I have to do it alone. Anytime I go anywhere I do it alone.

My mom asked a few weeks ago if I still felt like I wanted to die. I said yes I do. She asked what about my boyfriend. I said he will find someone else. I've only seen him two days this month which is his choice not mine. I have no control over when we see each other. I'm not a priority to him. I seriously doubt he would be devastated if I died.

I just feel so worthless and useless. I feel like no one cares about me. I am alone most of the time. No one invites me to do anything. My life is still the same it was four years ago alone. It will be the same way four years from now. I've told my family this is how I feel over and over. It doesn't seem to matter how I feel.

It's getting to the point I want to cut myself again. My parents know I have done that in the past.