I'm so sorry you are suffering and that this is your current outlook on life. I'm pretty sure you're not useless or not cared about. I felt that way for years, and still do struggle with it. I was so down one day that I didn't care about myself and was convinced that no one else did that I sat at my desk and wrote out where my assets should go "just in case." If I had a funeral, no one would be there to say how great of a person I am and how much they missed me. That's my depression taking over. Once I stabilized and slowly came out of it, those feelings weren't as strong, but at least I am able to function and they aren't as nagging. The combination of medication and therapy is what will work. I've tried all the drugs I probably can at this point. Look at my current cocktail! And I still hate myself from time to time. But I'm finally getting into therapy to attack these deeply rooted self-esteem issues. So I understand. And if you don't think anyone else cares, I care. I get it. I'm alone most of the time too. You may not care enough to do so, but please seek out help whether it be through medication and/or therapy. You don't have to live your life like that. I went way too long being like that. It can get better if you allow yourself to accept the help. Please take care and PM me if you ever need to talk about anything.