Firstly, I am sorry you are going through this. Secondly, my husband bought a handgun against my strong opposition. He too has it in a locked safe (he also currenly has my meds there too). When I explained to him that I felt a little betrayed and he knows that I easily become suicidal when I'm depressed, he said he has made sure that I could never have access to anything in the safe. That makes it a little easier but it's still upsetting when I think about it. I also live in fear that I will lose touch with reality and have a psychotic break again. I currently experience manic episodes that aren't as unsafe and bizarre as they were prior to meds although my depressions seem to be the same as they have always been (minus the psychosis) and last sometimes long periods of time. I sometimes hear voices and become paranoid but I am quite honest with my pdoc and t and they also are honest with me.

My therapist is constantly reminding me that break was when I was unmedicated and that I now have my family, my psychiatrist and her to be able to recognize the signs. She says I could live the rest of my life never having such a break but even if I do, I will have loads of support.