*hugs* I totally understand where you're coming from. I've been dealing with depression as well, and it definitely makes me feel like that. Sometimes it is super difficult not to believe it. Do try to remind yourself that what you are feeling is not founded in truth!

I haven't been seeing my boyfriend much either. Makes me think and feel all kinds of things. In my case, a lot of it is because we each have a child and other things going on. Have you asked your boyfriend why he's not around?