Thanks so much for your replies and hugs.

It was really helpful, Nicole, to see your simple statement that therapy should never cause more trauma. Pennster, it was so helpful to hear of someone else experiencing similar to me. I had been feeling that I really needed a therapist who allows some outside contact, also one who perhaps has some creative ideas to help me to talk to her and to not feel like this afterwards. My therapist may be someone who can help me with this, I don't know. I will go back and see her. Your replies gave me the confidence to email my T. I kind of realised that if she didn't find that acceptable (I've never contacted her before) then I would know she isn't the T for me. The alternative was me retreating into my usual, independent mode, with these kind of thoughts: I shouldn't have these emotions, I can manage my emotions myself, I don't need anyone else, I must be really dire if I can't even handle therapy without feeling like this afterwards...nobody would want to help me...

Peaches, I think I'm like you, I need to take things really slowly. I do know what triggered this off, I was talking about something that was traumatic, my T didn't push me into it, I brought I up myself, but I had no idea that I would feel this way afterwards. I feel that my T should have had an inkling, especially given the topic, and the fact that I have felt lousy before after sessions, but not like this. I don't know how to describe the insecurity I feel, but I think it relates to the emotional neglect I had as an infant. I've talked to my T about it, and again I hope that she might come up with some creative solutions for it, like I've read of other T's doing.

I am envious of your T Soccer Mom, I've told you that before. But my T may be able to help me, I don't know yet.