Quote:
Originally Posted by DesigningWoman
This is a bad moment. There will be more. There will be good moments. There will be stable moments. Lots of them. You are not alone. Not only the mentally ill have bad moments. Every single living human is going to have a mixture of all of the above. We keep going through the bad moments to get to the better ones. That's everybody.
I have studied history extensively. I am always amazed that even in the most horrible of circumstances, life long enslavement, generational religious persecution, etc. there are always accounts of the good moments that occurred even in the worst of times. I choose to focus those moments of positive, rather than the horror.
You mentioned two good moments in your post, cuddling your kids and seeing your therapist. Maybe try focusing on those moments and trying to make more moments like those happen.
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Thank you for your kind sentiments. I suppose every day I decide to live is a chance for joyfulness and one large step out of this hole. It's so hard to choose life sometimes. However, cuddling and kissing my three beautiful children and listening to them talk about how important I am to them is hard to deny...even when I feel so low down, I remember that unconditional love for them and from them (although that hasn't always been the case). I think (pretty sure) the only way that would change is if I become psychotic.
Here are some of the lyrics to a precious song that has helped me get through some tough times:
And when I chose to live, there was no joy,
It's just a line I crossed, it wasn't worth the pain my death would cost, so i
Was not lost or found. and if I was to sleep, I knew my family had more truth
To tell. and so I traveled down a whispering well, to know myself through
Them.
Here is the song: