No matter the circumstances, it is a real loss, and it will always be a loss to you. But at this point you need to forgive yourself and get on with your life. You can't undo what is done. It sounds like you have learned a lot about yourself through this experience, but dwelling on it is not good. File it as a regretful memory, which we all have a lot of. You will go on to have children when the time is right, hopefully, and that will help ease the pain. Above all, be kind to yourself and don't beat yourself up over something that can't be changed.

Add: You might want to research the stages of grief. All the best to you.