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meander said:
I agree with sunrise... just relax and have some fun with this guy, after a few more dates you'll see his true colours, whatever they are. Remember that it's human nature to put on the best possible face at first for someone you're romantically interested in, so as your bond grows, you'll both relax a bit more. Also, I know you're only interested in seeing guys with marriage-potential, but maybe just take it really slow and become friends?

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Ditto. I'm not sure, however, that we can know whether someone is "marriage potential" before we've dated a bit. I understand not wanting to risk and be vulnerable, which is why I have no men in my life, plus I am old. But when we decide to start searching, we have to be willing to circulate, meet and greet, lighten up enough to have a good time -- and how to say "No" after we've given someone a chance and we know he's not right. I think setting that boundary can be one of the hardest parts.

When I was dating, I've had guys say some very nasty things when I set that boundary.