Hi and welcome to PC. I am sorry you feel so despondant and that you feel no one listens to you. I hope it gets easier for you soon.

Before I comment on music, I just want to ask you if you or anyone who knows you think you are having any symptoms of mania. I don't mean to upset you but your post sounds a little like you are experiencing delusions of grandeur. Aside from that, you stated your mind is racing incessantly. Maybe if you are feeling this way you should contact your psychiatrist (pcoc), or if you don't have one, seek one out.

That stated, I have a serious obsession with music. My pdoc asks me at every visit how I'm doing "with the music issues." My husband freaks out if I am listening to the same song on repeat or if I listen for too long as he knows listening in either of these contexts is often amplified during an episode or even that listening can be a major trigger for an episode.