(((( biiv ))))

I think you're being a little harsh on yourself before you even know what's going on.

You wrote;

right when i really need someone comforting to talk to she s gone.

Maybe she could sense your need and doesn't want to burden you with any more stuff. "She has enough on her plate" kinda thing.

tends to cope really well.

People think this is true about me. What my good friends (even those of thirty years) don't know is that when I am "quiet" or not answering their emails, it's usually because I am NOT coping well, not that I don't care about them or that I'm ignoring them. When they ask if everything is ok-- I say everything is fine and they're relieved and I've "bought myself some time" to pull it together again.

ive recently realised its weird for me when someone has something going on and doesnt expect or even let me be there for them.

Again, this might have more to do with her not being able to ask or express or feel like she "deserves" any help. She just might need some space to clear her head.

Try not to be so hard on yourself.