(((((((((wildflowerchild)))))))))
I'm so sorry this is going on for you. I hear your pain. It may not be worth much, but I'm very much relating to what you say -- that feeling of .. Is this really my life??!! And HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME. It is so hard sometimes.

And yeah, I think you're right on about the dinner. What did you have?

Showers can be good that way too. Hot water raining down on all the stress. And, in a different way, coloring. Have you tried it? It can be very absorbing. In a good wavelength kind of way.