were you relieved to find out your diagnoses or did it leave you a little confused? Everyone shares stories and I think that's me to a T. It's hard for me to think I'm only suffering through depression.[/QUOTE]

Well I was diagnosed long before I started a stabilizer. I was about 18 and in IP at the time of Dx and really, I was so unstable you could probably hit me with a car and I wouldn't care. So I've learned to adapt, what to do and definitely what NOT to do as far as meds, self medication ect. A lot of trial and error. However my family was not as accepting and I moved out soon after I turned 19. Thank god my mom left me some inheritance when she passed or I would probably be homeless or worst. I also got SS for awhile so that helped. I can't talk to my dad about anything like meds or therapy. He says "you're still taking that crap?" I've learned to live with his ignorance and own undiagnosed MI in his case. I thank him and my upbringing for my alcohol and substance abuse but at some time I have to learn its my own disease and at the end of the day only I can make my decisions on how to live the rest of my future. I admit, my life sucks. Taking meds everyday suck. But it's my hand of cards and I have to live with it. There are even times I learn new things about my illness that leave me confused, unhopeful, lost. But knowledge is power and it's good to learn about yourself. And who knows, maybe the meds that have me stable now won't work in the next year, month, week. Just pick yourself up and try again. Never give up no matter how much it hurts. If all else fails and I'm completely about to lose it I just take a PRN and sleep it off hoping I'll wake up with a different mindset. Then call pdoc asap. I take my MI very seriously and its impact on me and others around me. If there's a problem I call my pdoc right away. I've been in the bottomless pits and I never want to feel that way again!