Blue-D you tend to get stuck on good memories or bad? For the entire last year I've had a loop of every time I ever screwed up at work playing in my head. It won't stop, I just have accepted it the best I can and hope that when I am well again I never think of those things again. Those thoughts are much worse than they were when I was realizing I could not work anymore; at that time I was concentrating on what I could no longer do (I had surgery with severe akathesia afterward that landed me IP and my brain never bounced back fully which was the last straw for the sinking ship that was working after stupid Medicare enacted a new rule a few months before that was making life impossible) and not what I'd done badly but now it is all things done badly, all the time. Even things I didn't do badly but that my patients didn't necessarily like hearing count or times drs. didn't listen to me and things got worse or various other bad scenarios. It's weird that my brain is so stuck on that; i haven't worked since 2011. But that's what it has chosen (this all got really bad when I had a put my national certification into retirement last January or February; I wasn't doing well and that was the last straw and then it just never got better). I'm so sick of some of those memories.