Hey Rainbow,

It might help to talk to your T about why she did this. Because as I'm thinking about it, if I were your T, I might choose *now* to be more direct about your social interactions, because you're at a point in your life where they take on a certain significance. You have more time to spend with friends now, and if you want to get your paintings out there I would guess you'll have to do a fair amount of negotiation and self-promotion to get your artwork displayed and sold. Good interpersonal skills will help with this.

Plus, let's be blunt: your marriage was pretty tough. I know you loved your H but there were hard times. T is in a unique position to help you *at the beginning* of any new partnership you pursue (when you're ready!). Imagine if you'd been able to communicate with your H better from the very beginning.

For me, although I know we approach therapy in very similar ways, I have almost the opposite problem. I am reserved and self-conscious about talking to myself, and am actually well-known IRL for being someone that people find themselves talking and talking and talking to. I don't mind that most of the time, I kind of like it actually because I enjoy hearing people's stories, but in some situations a person really has to be able to talk about herself. So for me, my early days of therapy were sessions that were >50% silent. I just didn't know how to just talk about myself. Not coincidentally, the earlier stages of my relationship with my H were >50% about him (I mean, obviously there are times when it's more about one partner than the other, but overall, it was more about him than me). Things really didn't get better until I improved at communicating more effectively with him. I sometimes wonder how it would have been (and strangely, if we'd even still be together) had I been a more self-assured person when I first started dating my H.

Anyway, I can only speculate as to your T's intentions. I can't quite tell but I think you probably know she isn't *really* punishing you even though it feels that way. I wonder if it would feel a little less like punishment if you could have a dialogue with her about where she's coming from.

Good luck!