((((((((((((((((freewill)))))))))))))))) ((((((((((((((((mlyn))))))))))))) I'm sorry you both are struggling so much.

For me, anger is a scary thing and so it's very difficult for me to express. That doesn't mean it's not there but for the most part, it's buried pretty deep as with most of my emotions. A lot of times I do feel something on the edge, but because emotions are so scary, it's hard for me to even recognize them for what they are and if I ever do, it's after the fact. I have, however, heard about times when I have expressed a lot of anger, but I haven't been aware at that time.

Your ex-husband, father, your grandmother, mother's respirator, those are all traumas. I think sometimes the brain splits, sometimes maybe it doesn't. I don't know exactly how or why it happens but I do know it happens so that we can carry on and do the things we need to do.

I don't explain to anyone about what's going on with me. My life is so much about secrets, programmed from a long time ago, that I don't ever dare tell anyone anything about anything other than the weather for the most part. Some people think I am eccentric, some people might think I'm weird I'm sure.

I'm so sorry you are having a hard time right now. I hope things start looking up for you soon. You have overcome much and I'm glad you're here.