It's so hard to trust again. I'm terrified too. I'm starting an intensive 2 year program and I'm afraid it won't help or I'll hate it, but I think I'm even more afraid of the opposite.

We had really similar situations with bad therapy and it is SO damaging to any kind of trust. I think that fear of getting attached is even worse than the one of not clicking with a therapist. I think you should keep fighting, but holding back a part of you isn't a bad thing. I don't want to ever trust the way I did again. It's dangerous.