Ohhh, thanks for going into more ((((((( biiv ))))))))

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i have asked this friend for a LOT of support since ive known her and it got to a point where i felt so guilty i felt i needed to restore the balance a bit and shift the focus more onto her and her issues. also because i really do love her and i want to know because i care. but maybe that trying to shift the balance was the wrong thing to do... i dont know. maybe by doing that i made her feel pressured to talk to me when, as you say, she might be in a place where she has no words and is 'meditating' on her own issues. (i like your use of that word.)

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that speaks VOLUMES to me. after a long absence from you, you then are "different" to her and have kinda turned the tables in the relationship. she might feel way out there in left field, ya know?

one thing that i had to learn thru therapy is that ppl can't read my mind and that assumed that my words and actions should be clear to them. i was so wrong! my words didn't match my actions and visa versa so i was always sending mixed signals then would be hurt when i wasn't understood.

maybe after a few days of your own meditation you can send an email to her expressing yourself and your actions of the last few months as good as you can?

also, with you changing the "rules" in the relationship without her knowing, she might feel that as a pulling away because you've changed the focus? Your intent is the best and for her, but it might feel confusing for her...especially if she'd had a well-established role? she might just really be confused and trying to give you space at the same time? if that's the case, she's a really good friend.

PM anytime as well, OK?

How cool of you to stop, look and listen to this repetiveness in your live. That's where healing starts, friend.

KD