I'm so sorry about this.

My take? If you have an income, there should be a household account as well as your own accounts.
The amount you contribute to the household account should be based on a percentage of income, including overtime. It should be enough to cover living expenses as well as an emergency fund.

Personal items (like dirt bikes!) should be paid for with your own money, not someone else's.

I feel the same way about dividing up work at home. You both need to do work the same percentage of time that you each spend at home...if that makes sense.

Let's be honest here, unloading the dishwasher takes ten minutes. Laundry means put a load in, transfer to the dryer, fold and put away. You don't have to stand there and watch the wash go around.

If he is a control freak, perhaps the logic of percentages will appeal to him?