((Hugs)). Coming from someone that dealt with eating disorders for 13 years now, I totally get it. But you know when I felt my best? Not when the scale was at its lowest, but when I was working out and eating right! I actually had more muscle tone and definition and I was very fit. Have you ever considered excercise a try? It actually helps a lot with depression too. Now I've gotten a bit older, tired from meds, and plain lazy so I feel like **** pretty much every day. Maybe I should start taking my own advice again!