I don't think you were lacking sympathy. You were just trying to help. I didn't feel reprimanded or anything by you so don't worry.

My problem is I don't think I'm doing a good job of caring for my son right now. He's clothed in clean clothes, he's fed, he's bathed, but it's all the bare minimum. I'm not playing with him. I'm not feeding him well; just pbj or spaghettios or other processed food. I'm too tired to fight with him to eat adult food and I'm too tired to even make dinner for us. It's almost physically painful to get off the couch. I don't want to be like this for him. I want to be able to play and eat with him.

I want to have one day where I don't see myself dying. I want the images to go away. I see what my therapist is saying, that I just have to deal with it and find small escapes....but it's too hard to even execute those small escapes.

I don't know. I just don't know.