5 months ago I had my first manic episode from hell! It nearly wrecked my life! 1 week with little to no sleep, rapid thoughts, thinking I was a mythical creature, thinking I had special powers, high energy, high sex drive, feeling high, feeling superior, driving erectly, paranoid, thinking people were after me, rapid speech, thinking people were possessed, thinking things had special meanings and irritability. I was hospitalized. They thought it was a bipolar episode, though I am not diagnosed. I was on olanzapine for a bit, and then I went off. Will I know if I am having another hypomania and or manic episode? I am in my early 30’s. I always was social and had high energy. I am not sure if this was just bipolar all along. I feel frightened day and night. I cry REALLY HARD all of the time. I am married with two small children. I feel really lost and upset about all of this. I am being followed by a psychologist. The thought of having bipolar is heartbreaking. I feel like my life is wrecked. It feels like I am living in a nightmare. My life was so good before all of this, now I just feel helpless and scared. Any and all insight would be helpful. Thank you.