I'm confused. Anxious. Racing thoughts. Isolating. Really labile in mood.

I feel impulsive. I feel self destructive. I'm bored. I'm sick of fighting my own thoughts. I can't stop them anymore.

I don't want to go ask for help. I don't think help will help. I know the medications they can give me will but i can't stand the idea of talking to anyone. Of calling my therapist like he told me to. I don't know what he would do.

I feel secretive. I don't want them to know.

I hate these idiot people who think they know everything. Everyone is so sure of themselves. I don't need thier counsel now. They don't understand. I'm sick of older people who think they have it together looking at me like I'm not helping myself. I don't want to. I hate this life. What does it all mean? How do I find peace? How do I find joy? How to I stop being so frustrated?

Why do people think that they are all knowing? That because they have experienced things that my experiences are exactly the same as theirs? That im just a silly little girl who thinks she's the only one in life with problems. That I have no problems. When one is happy they seem to look down on those who arnt like they are weak.

I want them to feel my displeasure. I want their happy little lives to blow up in their faces so they can understand.

The world was at my feet.

I want to hide.

I want them to understand. To be gentle & get how serious it is.