I wonder if part of the reason you're questioning whether she genuinely cares has to do with breaking down the fantasy? I mean, if we have this fantasy-version of our T's in our heads where they're perfect and we love everything about them, the reality that they're just regular imperfect people feels sort of disappointing by comparison, don't you think?

Anyway, to answer the question...I think there's always a measure of faith here, but for me I've assured myself T cares in a couple different ways. There's a particular look, a particular feeling I sometimes get in session, the fact that T does seem to appear genuinely interested and alert. He remembers details that surprise me (until he doesn't, haha).

Then there's the intellectual aspect--I tell myself that a T couldn't do this job if they didn't care, that they wouldn't, as your T said, do deep work unless there was a strong connection.

Finally, I got a whole lot happier about this once I started feeling better about myself and separating my self worth from whether or not I thought T cared. I used to be just tortured by doubt about whether people liked me. I still am, sometimes, but mostly I'm able to tell myself "Of course T likes me. I'm likable. And if he doesn't then **** him! I'm FABULOUS!" It's a good feeling.