This was a huge issue for me with ex-T. I've now realized her inconsistencies and reactions to me made me feel she didn't care. I asked her several times and she wouldn't flat out say it but told me to look at her actions. Then, one time she said it with tears in her eyes. About 6 months later I had another period of not feeling it and she said "don't make me regret telling you". I was floored.

With new T. I have absolutely no doubt she cares and she hasn't flat out said it until a week ago. But, for the first 6 months I just knew. I knew in the way she looked at me, the questions she asked, the time she took to try to understand, the contact she gave me. It all just added up.

I remember asking my brother who is a psychologist how he knew his T. cared about him. He said he just knew. I kept thinking why can't I just know with ex-T. I now get it - I just know with new T.

I also think it's personality of your T. My ex-T. just wasn't a "mushy" type of person. She was tough and a little bit all business. Current T. is just a more loving person in general.

I'm sorry you're struggling with this. I know how painful it can be. You can tell yourself all day long all the reasons she should care. But, FEELING it is a different story.