Sounds like you wrote while medicated. I've sent a few emails like that.

My mom did the same. My therapist made me drag her into a session when I was about to move here and go through my suicide risk and what needed to be put away. Instead of locking things up as she promised she left them in an open, unlocked safe. When I reminded her to lock it she said she would. She never did. She had a box of sharps from my house. This was 2 1/2 years ago and the other day she said she forgot where she hid it. The other day I found it; she didn't hide anything. It was just sitting on a shelf in her garage where if I'd looked I'd have found it in 30 seconds.

So aggravating.