so long story kind of short ....

Ive been dealing with my ED for three years now. The last 9 months to a year ive been doing some what better was able to eat dinners ( thanks to smoking i don't know if that is ok to say in here :/ ) but the bad thing was i still would throw up whatever was left in my stomach that morning so bad to the point i would almost pass out .. but was not able to eat at all during the day. About three weeks ago i ended up getting strep throat with a abscess in my throat. Well because it was so painful i couldn't purge ( i was happy but than again i was pretty angry ) well anyways as of today its been almost a month since i haven't purged and yesterday i got the courage to try and eat something during the day * a small thing of yogurt which i shared with my daughter so only had maybe 6 small bites * but i was so proud of myself and so excited because i was able to keep it down without even the thought of wanting to purge. Well today has not been a good day at all. I've been very depressed , angry and wanting to purge ( but i haven't ) I don't know what to do ... Is this just part of getting better and fighting the battle or what ... I have not seen a dr for this so im not medically diagnosed but i know my body and im not dumb i know whats going on with me. I just need some advice on how to over come these feelings im having. In the past month I've gone though about three of these episodes of feeling like this * since i haven't purged * ... Please help