Psychology would call the condition perfectionism. It may have stemmed from parents that were overly critical, such as bringing home a report card with 5 As and 1 B--and your parents focused exclusively on the B. Consequently, you have these unrealistically high expectations of yourself. Furthermore, you associate everything you do as some type of barometer of who you are as a person. This leads to catastrophic thinking: You either order food for someone "perfectly" or if you make a "mistake" you'll think of yourself as an idiot. Realistically, neither is true.

You probably like to plan things out, but what may want to try is just go into a restaurant with your mother or whoever on a whim, order food for your mother in an impromptu way, and laugh when the waiter says "excuse me?"

You, as a person, has nothing to do with ordering food off a menu for someone else "perfectly."