Along with a rough weekend, of blandness feeling, I've been questioning my T as whether or not I'm making her out to be more then she is. I've only been seeing this T for around 7-8 visits short time right? Thats what scares me, this is my 4th T, most I never felt the way I do about this one,..but it seems as tho when not in session I in vision her to be something,..I dream of, during session I try to pretend still she is. I do have a strong attraction to her, perhaps thats why?

I feel abosutely sick of my human character at this point, not only do I question my happiness but also the things that make me happy,..like my T. During session she lessons very well, i've cried 2-3 times in just 7 visits, when I'm quite she asks..."whatcha thinkin"...I want to tell her,...what I'm telling you...while out of session I invision her offering me a drink, relaxing with me, and beginning the session, offering me advice throughout, but also seeing my prosepctive and why it is..my prospective,..then finally during the end of session shaking my hand,..or just a pat on the shoulder and open the door for me and go out,...

My first 3 T's...well I didnt invision anything for them, in fact I hated them,...or disliked...I did respect them, but felt dred when an appointment came around...this isn't my first female T....my 2nd actually, well,...as I said she is attractive,..but....she is also...somehow vision or no vision like the mother I dreamed of,...maybe I dream to much,..maybe I'm crazy,..or maybe I'm a bad person...in the end...my thoughts take me over,..all the timme

Dustin