I didn't think it wasn't as bad as it seems. I think it probably is. You are dealing with a horrible loss and a horrible disease that magnifies that loss when it doesn't need magnification to be awful.

I also didn't mean that the hospital was the issue. I meant that needing it is not bad and you are in no way pathetic. I don't know how you manage to hold it together so well; you are so strong. If you need a few days for some med changes and a little time to grieve without so much responsibility and then you come out a little better that's not a bad thing. Your son will understand as he grows up and it sounds like he has people who love him if you can't be there.

I'm sorry my post came across as it did; I did not meant to sound critical. I just don't want you to suffer more than you already are.