I am a 30 year old woman that's in a relationship with a 35 year old man for 4 months. I have been recently diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder & ptsd. I have met with the therapist but have not met with the psychiatrist to get on right meds. I feel so down right now. I know I keep pushing my boyfriend away by my constant anxiety over him loving me, wanting to be with me & even missing me. He keeps telling me & even showing he does love, miss, & want to be with me. I've been really good this week of not being too clingy or needy with wanting his constant reassurance. Tonight I screwed up. We haven't seen each other since last Saturday. He told me he would come see me tomorrow (Saturday). I said ok since we live an hour away. Tonight he told me he was going to hang out with one of his friends he hasn't seen in a long time. I of course got insecure & screwed things up like I always seem to do. I told him in a text that I'm really glad he's hanging out with his friend but lol it bothers me just a tad bit since I haven't seen him all week. I then joked that I might be tad bit jealous of his friend. I put hahaha after that. Then I told him to have a good time & I'll see him tomorrow. He texted me back you'll be fine lol see you tomorrow. Well I didn't like that response. So I called him. He said that he felt that I was trying to make him feel bad for hanging out with his friend and choosing his friend over me. I tried to tell him that I wasn't trying to make him feel guilty at all. He doesn't believe me and said that I just aggravated him that he wasn't mad that he was just aggravated. After we got off the phone I sent him a text apologizing again saying that I didn't mean to make him feel that way and that please do not be upset with me and have a good time tonight. He texted back OK and I'll give it the good old college try. I just feel like he screwed things up again with my neediness and my anxiety is kicking in overdrive. Did I screw things up do you think he'll want to still see me tomorrow?