I think I need to process some things with my therapist. I would tell my husband and mom what is on my mind but they will think I am crazy and I can't share on here because maybe it is crazy. But it doesn't feel crazy.

I see my therapist on Tues morning.

What is wrong with going outside of traditional psychiatry for treatment or at least for temporary balance (and no, I'm not talking about drugs)? My therapist is also a christian so I know she will, at least, tell me it is outside of God's will. I haven't always believed in one God though (or at least I pretended not to believe). When I was younger I had a charismatic christian prayer warrior cast demons from me. It scared me at the time but I correlated that with my improvement, sometimes even pointing to that as my healing (but here I am 14 years later far from healed.). That is far from traditional!

Sorry for such an ambiguous post but I just need to gather my thoughts.