right now I am obsessing over a korean girl group , do not understand a word but just love the sound of it , it lifts me up and is keeping me going

... but it's a two edged sword ... too much and it swirls in my head all night ... actually causes severe headaches ... so I can be depressed or suffer pain ... right now I am going for the pain ... the consant ringing in my head ... so far xanex helps ...

I really feel this is not good for me long term ... but it's all I got right now ...

ps: my pdoc wants me back on geodon .. but I swore I would never go back on a ap again ... non-complient coming