It's horrible I'm really sorry you went through that. I'm worried you could be in bipolar depression now. Really tough even with meds but meds may help, probably not immediately though. Can you get in with doctor? A therapist to talk to?

It's been a process for me accepting the diagnosis. Sometimes I still grieve it as a loss and other times it's like ok this is just how my brain works, part of my path. It's cyclical you're going to feel so much better when you get through this time.