yeah i apprecite the post. I really dont want that homosexual lifestlye, its more in my head and i also was so exclusively heterosexual, never have been with a guy, and really am not willing to kiss a guy, i really just want these thoughts to go away. also, i never was gay before this or anything i was in love, and i mean REALLY in love once and also sort of in love another time with women, so therefore isnt it possible that i couldnt be any more than bi? I also spent such a long poeriod of time with women and i dont think i ever go out and am attracted to guys or whatever like i dont see a guy ever and say, omg hes so cute or whatever, so i mean i doubt that, and im not into the "gay lifestyle", like im really into sports and into stuff like that, and iw as a wrestler in high school and i never had any attraction then either so i mean thats got to be something else right? ive also never had feelings of love or anything for another guy and at age 20, wouldnt i have experienced this already? this started with me obsessing over this stuff at first, im really not willing to go out and pursue it and i cant tell if thats cause i fear it so much or dont want to be gay or whatever... btw i hope in my fear im not coming off homophobic or anything, i do not mean to offend or anything at all. the attraction for me was always women.